Temple Torat Yisrael

Parashat Vayakhel-Pekudei                                                                            Torah Reading:  Exodus  35:1-40:38

Educators, child psychologists, even rabbis are expressing concern over the phenomenon of over-programmed kids.  From school to hockey to band to gymnastics to soccer to karate . . . it seems as though many kids today have no time to just do nothing.  My friend and colleague, Rabbi Dianne Cohler-Esses shows us how this week's Torah reading provides us with a valuable guiding principle as we prioritize time for our children:

"In this Torah portion Moses tells the people that they are commanded to set aside the seventh day as a day of complete rest. It is a day in which no productive labor is allowed, a day in which the emphasis is put on "being" instead of "becoming" or "having."

Think about your own life. Is there enough time and room for simply stopping and being with one another? Stop now and take a breath. See how that feels. Think about ways to incorporate rest into the busy life of your family. Some families choose to put aside a day of the week and celebrate the Sabbath as a day of rest. Others pay attention to the principle of the day and figure out where to find the resting moments in life."
Rabbi Dianne Cohler-Esses, www.myjewishlearning.com

This week's Torah reading invites us to integrate Shabbat into our lives.  Here are some accessible ways to weave the values of Shabbat into our week:

1.  Make Friday evening family dinner night.  Go around the table and have each family member talk about something good, exciting or challenging that happened during the week.

2.  Make or purchase a tzedakah box (a Jewish piggy bank!) and on Friday afternoon have everyone in the family put a few coins in the box.  Twice a year, count up what you've contributed and decide on a cause to send your donation.

3.  Trying to control your family's intake of sweets or salty snacks?  Ban them during the week and rename them "Shabbat Treats."  Everyone in the family gets to pick one Shabbat Treat (candy, chips, whatever...) that they will enjoy during Shabbat. 

4.  Bless your children.  Whatever parenting challenges you may have faced during the week, take a few moments at Friday evening dinner to treasure those little blessings in your life.  Put your hand on each child's head and recite the blessing that has been part of our people's heritage since biblical times:

May God bless you and guard you.
May God's light shine upon you and be gracious to you.
May God show you kindness and shower you with peace.

Then . . . and this is really important . . . then kiss each kid on the head!

Parashat Ki Teitzei                                                                Torah Reading: D'varim/ Deuteronomy 21:10 - 25:19

Week after week, month after month, year after year, we return to the text of the Torah . . . the gift from God that our liturgy tells us is an expression of God's love for us.  Among the many blessings this gift brings us is a treasure trove of values, helping us to prioritize our lives.

Just such a value is accessible to us in this week's parashah / Torah Portion.  The people of Israel are, in the book of D'varim/Deuteronomy, being prepared for their entry into the land of Israel.  In this context, the people are presented with a list of contingencies which provide military exemptions for those of age and ability to serve.  The young man who is married for less than a year and/or has yet to build a home for his family is exempt from military service. 

The message for us, living in a country where there is no compulsory military service?  That family is important.  Really important.  Establishing and providing for your family in fact trumps other obligations.

Author Jessica Gribetz, in her rich sourcebook:  Wise Words:  Jewish Thoughts and Stories Through the Ages, outlines for us the essence of family for our people:

The family forms and defines us.  Within its borders, our principles, ethics, self-worth and aspirations blossom or wither.  Parents seek to replicate or refashion their own upbringing, hoping only for the best.  But the best differs for each of us.  I have only to look at my four girls, each with her own singular beauty, talents, and traits, to know that there is no one way to love and nurture.  Our home is a hothouse and each flower has its needs. . . . Our biblical forefathers are presented to us, warts and all--because the message is not to deny human nature but to overcome its darker side.

Yes, one can make a case for the dysfunctionality of the families of Genesis an Exodus:  parents showing favoritism for children (Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob) or being ready to sacrifice a child as an act of allegiance to an unseen God (Abraham), or simply a remote and uninvolved parent (Moses).  Perhaps these glimpses into the imperfect family lives of our matriarchs and patriarchs have been preserved in order to provide us with role models who are as real and human as we are.  In order to encourage us to overcome the darker side of our characters and to strive to provide for our families an environment in which each member of the family can thrive.

This imagery of family . . . of the context in which each individual can grow and follow his or her own path, in which love and nurturing are available in many different ways, is also my vision of community.  This is my vision for our Torat Yisrael family.

Parashat Re'eh                                                                      Torah Reading:  D'varim/Deuteronomy 11:26 - 16:17

 This week's Torah portion speaks with great joy of the three Pilgrimage Festivals of the Jewish calendar: "Three times a year--on the Feast of Unleavened Bread (Pesah), on the Feast of Weeks (Shavuot), and on the Feast of Booths (Sukkot)--all your males shall appear before the Holy One your God in the place that God will choose. They shall not appear before the Holy One empty-handed, but each according to their own gift, according to the blessing that the Holy One your God has bestowed upon you."

I am grateful to my colleague, Rabbi Brad Artson, for the lovely insight that these verses teach us that celebration means giving and sharing as well as receiving.  Rabbi Artson cites the Talmud that the gift one brings to God should be:  "(Gittin 59a), "in accordance with one's own acumen."  In other words, there is not one standardized gift that is acceptable to God when we come to celebrate the Festivals of Pesach, Shavuot and Sukkot . . . or, indeed, any time we come together to pray, celebrate or learn.  But rather the gift of spirit, devotion and engagement that we bring must be uniquely meaningful to each of us whatever our "acumen," whatever our level of Hebrew, of knowledge, or commitment.

I feel that there is another exceptional element to the gifts we bring to God when we gather before God not empty-handed:  I have very vivid memories of my parents  handing me a few coins to bring to Sunday School for me to donate to "Keren Ami," a fund for the very young state of Israel.  The gift I brought was actually given to me from others, from my parents, with the understanding that I would, in turn, give that gift to others.

The dynamic of the gifts we bring to God is a bit different . . . for the gifts we offer God at the time of our celebrations with God are the gifts that God blessed us with in the first place!  Our spirits, our families and friends, our community . . . these are all our blessings.  And it is in community, sitting with family and friends, opening our hearts to God that we give share with God the joy of our Festivals and the peace of our Sabbaths.